Today is my oldest’s 6th birthday. I can hardly believe how fast the time has gone. 6 to me seems like such a milestone age. It’s the age of public school, losing teeth, t-ball, riding a bike without training wheels (yes we have yet to master that one), and many more that are sure to come…

“Very early, I knew that the only object in life was to grow.”
- Margaret Fuller

Isn’t that all my responsibility as his parent? To ensure that he grows, and grows well, physically, emotionally, intellectually, socially, in all ways. So today, I look back, I reflect, I wonder. How are my husband and I doing as parents? How are we teaching him to move in this world? Is it the way we hope to?

He just wants cake.

(So cake decorating isn’t one of my strengths, oh well.)

“We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.”
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

I ask him: What do you think about being 6?

He answers: It just feels the same. Lol.

“We turn no older with years but newer every day.”
- Emily Dickenson

Every day is the chance to become new, to make changes, to be the people we want to be, and to affect our children in ways that allow and encourage them to grow. Here I go…

Happy Birthday to my favorite 6 year old!

If you’re on Facebook, perhaps you have seen others or are doing yourself, updating their status each day of what they are thankful for. When I first saw it, I hesitated. In some ways using a medium like Facebook to share what I am thankful for each day seems so forced, so insincere, but I decided to do it anyway. It has actually been sort of fun thinking of different things each day. Some days have been harder than others, especially once I got through the easy ones (my children, my husband, etc.). I started thinking about the more subtle things in life that I am so grateful for (coffee I am talking about you!). Some days I really had to think… and I think I need more gratitude in my life.

Yesterday, my five year old told me that he heard something very important on the radio. He told me that there are people that don’t have clean water or enough food to eat. Every day children are dying because of it.

And he said this with much astonishment, which makes me grateful that he does not have to worry about this in his daily life, but also makes me wonder about how to use this moment to teach him about what we need to do for others and what we need to do for this planet.

We have done the usual canned food drives.In fact, several of his friends this year asked for food donations in lieu of presents for their birthday parties. We discussed why we did this, but obviously he still doesn’t really understand. We donate used goods to various charities. We also talked about why we do this, what it means for us and for others, but again it obviously didn’t really sink in.

So yesterday I shared how thankful I am to have clean water and enough food. And I am, incredibly thankful.

But now, how to teach a five year old about the gravity and worldwide prevalence of hunger, poverty, and limited access to clean, safe water? How do I impart how thankful we really should be for our home, healthy food, clean water, transportation, an excellent education, and the freedom to play? How do I teach him to be empathetic and generous with a desire to change the world?

How do you teach your children to be thankful?

What are you thankful for this year?

This week was fun thinking about the important role that grandparents play in our kids’ lives. I grew up with grandparents several states away. I saw them maybe once a year and did not know them well. They were not involved in our daily lives. They weren’t there for birthdays or holidays or school plays. My kids are lucky that most of their grandparents are within  a couple hours drive. They get to see them often and I know will reap the benefits of that.

I sent out a call to some of the grandparents I know of young children to send in something from their perspective on being a grandparent. My mom sent me this that was written a little over three years ago:

I went to see my grandson tonight, to give my daughter a rest.  The new baby she carries is in a hurry and my girl must take it easy.  So dinner, bath and bedtime have become a ritual for my grandbaby and me. But, tonight he is sick. He’s been sick for a few days and he is so small and so quiet. And it hurts me.

I remember when I was mommy and one of my girls sick.  I remember watching them; listening and anxious until they were well again.  Now I watch and listen and fret over this boy, who is my heart.
I want to feel exasperation at his 2 year old antics, feel excitement at his 2 year old feats.  I do not want to fear for him as I tuck him in bed and urge a sip of water and blow a kiss.

His Mama is calm and I admire that.  But I see her watching and listening, too. We both know he will be fine soon, will be his usual rambunctious self and  I’ll be glad.

Tonight, though, when I drove home I cried.

And now for the announcement of our Grandparents day winner! We had such great responses it was too hard to choose, so we went with a random.org generator. And the winner is…. Slee! We will be sending an e-mail with your gift certificate. Thanks everyone for the thoughtful comments.

“Grandparents can do more for us than anyone else in the world; they sprinkle stardust in our eyes.” -Alex Haley

A very happy Grandparents Day to all the grandparents out there! Grandparents are so important in kids’ lives. Grandparents can buffer the effects of adverse life events, they can encourage and support their grandchildren’s activities, they can take the time to really listen, they can spend time doing simple things, and all of this is so helpful to boosting kid’s development.

We hope that no matter where your grandchildren live, that you can have a wonderful, fulfilling relationship with them. There are so many ways to stay in touch, whether you live close by or far away.

This week we are going to focus on the grandparents. So be sure to come back to check out what we have in store for you!

Now tell us, what is your favorite thing about being a grandparent? If you’re the parent, share what the best thing is about your kid’s grandparent? The best comment will win a $15 gift certificate! Comments will close Friday at noon PST and winner will be announced by 3pm PST.

Edited 9/18: Our winner was announced today!

Dealing with sunscreen with wriggly, wiggly, wiggle worms has got to be one of my least favorite parts of summer. I fully believe in the importance of children spending time outdoors, both in sports and in unstructured free exploration. But in order to protect children’s delicate skin, and our own, we have to make sure we are using safe, effective sun protection. Most kids get between 50% and 80% of their lifetime sun exposure before age 18. Sunscreen is one easy way to make sure they are protected.

How to find the right sunscreen.

1. Avoid oxybenzone. Oxybenzone is a synthetic chemical often used in some big name sunscreens. Oxybenzone is an endocrine disruptor and is also associated with photoallergic reactions. It is absorbed easily through the skin, making it even more harmful for kids and babies who are more susceptible to chemical exposure due to their size.
2. Decide what you are comfortable with regarding the controversial topic of nano particles of titanium or zinc oxide. I don’t think there is a right answer here. Some believe that nano particles are more easily absorbed and might then cause cell damage.
3. Avoid synthetic fragrance, parabens, propylene glycol, and dioxanes. Always check ingredients and if you are unsure about anything, Skin Deep is a great place to see information on individual ingredients as well as brands.
4. Our top pick for sunscreen is California Baby No Fragrance SPF 30+ Lotion. Safemama has a great cheat sheet of safe sunscreens that might be worth a try too.

Basic Sun Safety for Babies and Kids:

1. Infants under 6 months old should always be kept in the shade whenever possible. Dress in lightweight, tightly-woven clothing and a hat that covers the head and ears and shades the face.
2. Older children should stay out of direct sun when the sun is most intense, usually between 10am-4pm. Kids should also wear hats and protective clothing when possible.
3. Slather on the sunscreen 30 minutes before going outside. Studies have shown that most people do not use enough in the first place and then don’t reapply often enough- about every 2 hours.
4. Make your own shade with a big umbrella or sun shade.
5. Use common sense.

Yes, I know chasing after toddlers with a babe in arms after only a few hours sleep does not always lend itself to remembering to bring the hats, sunscreen, towels, diapers, etc., etc. Before the season of pools, parks, and playdates gets underway try to get a list together of everything you need before you need to leave the house. Or better yet, stash a big bag full of essentials in the car, then you just need to grab your stainless steel water bottles, kids, keys and go! Have a sunburn-free summer!

Expanding on my earlier post about the loss of a baby, I have decided to donate a portion of the proceeds of all sales from now until Mother’s Day to First Candle. I want to show my support for all the families that have lost a child, those I know personally and those I don’t. First Candle is an incredible website with lots of information, research, and support for grieving families and their loved ones or anyone seeking the best information on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. They are also strong advocates to help guide national and local political action to ensure adequate funding for SIDS, stillbirth, and other infant health programs.

I personally found this information from First Candle very helpful:

Coping with SIDS
It is very important that all those touched by a SIDS death understand that SIDS has no specific symptoms, that SIDS occurs in the best of families and to the most capable, careful and loving parents. Even if the baby had recently shown symptoms of a cold and had been taken to a doctor, there were no signs leading anyone to suspect that the baby would die. No one can tell ahead of time whether a baby will die of SIDS; and no one can stop SIDS from happening.

Because SIDS occurs unexpectedly and usually at home, nearly every parent feels in some way responsible for the baby’s death until the facts are explained. Often one parent blames the other, or relatives blame one or both of the parents. Families sometimes blame a childcare provider or the doctor who told them the baby was healthy a short time before the death.

Even after receiving accurate information about SIDS, some family members find it difficult to accept these facts. They may continue to search for answers or to blame themselves or others. Articles and reports about SIDS often appear in the news media. Periodically such reports imply that “the cause” has been discovered. It is important to restate that SIDS continues to be an unsolved problem. Even with current scientific knowledge, SIDS victims cannot be identified beforehand.

Did the Baby Suffer?
SIDS is considered to be an almost instantaneous event. There may be some movement during the last few seconds of life, accounting for the unusual positions in which some babies are found. Babies do not cry out and often show no sign of having been disturbed in their sleep. Parents who have witnessed their baby’s death have reported that they appeared to die very peacefully in their sleep, that they appeared simply to stop breathing.

The reality of a SIDS death, however, is that they did not just stop breathing – their entire body shuts down in an instant, making it impossible to revive these babies even if immediate intervention is made. While scary and hard to understand, this can be of some comfort to those that struggle with feelings of guilt for not being there when the baby died.

I would love that no more families would ever again experience this pain…

You can make individual donations here: First Candle donations.

Wow, what a great time we had at The Mom Shop on Saturday! Thanks to all of those who came out. We got to meet a lot of fantastic people and saw the cutest kids in the fashion show that you have ever seen!

We had great weather all weekend here in Portland. It is so lovely to see the sun shining again. My family I spent most of Sunday outside. We planted our small vegetable garden, made pine cone bird feeders with the boys, and watched a pair of birds building a nest in our apple tree. The baby got to crawl all around trying to eat the grass. Playing outside was everyone’s favorite part of the day. We even ate our meals outside!

Did you get your green hour in?

This week we will celebrate two events: Earth Day on April 22 and TV Turnoff Week April 20-26.

There is some controversy about Earth Day this year. Yes we should be living green all year long, but I have come to love the big symbolic gestures. Earth Day is less about being green for a day and much more about bringing awareness to those that may not realize all of the great ways to save money and save the planet all at the same time! Plus it is a great excuse to do something out of the ordinary with your children: go on a mid-week nature hike, do an Earth Day craft, take part in a special Earth Day event near you, learn something new about recycling or a new way to reuse your old cloth diapers.

TV Turnoff Week is near and dear to my heart, much to my oldest boy’s chagrin (he had a hard time with this last year, and he doesn’t even watch that much tv!). I think that so many American kids spend way too much time in front of the television each day and far too little time exploring their natural world. I am excited that this week looks like it will be great for my kids to spend more time outside. But even inside, there is a lot to do besides watching a show or playing a video game.

Do you have any special Earth Day plans? Any fun activities for TV Turnoff week?

Some of you may have heard recently about sweet little Maddie Spohr passing away unexpectedly. Some of you may have noticed the March of Dimes badge to the right there under my blogroll. Some of you may have no idea what I am talking about, but that’s okay.

I did not know them, only a bit from their blog, but I feel compelled to share this and to try to do something for all the other babies that March of Dimes helps. Since Maddie’s passing there has been an incredible outpouring of support for her parents, Heather and Mike, in this sad time.

There are people all over the country donating their time to do the walk (click here to find an event near you) and/or donating money to the March of Dimes for all that they do to help moms have healthy, full-term pregnancies and fund research to find answers to the serious problems that threaten our babies.

I urge you all to do what you can. For Maddie and all the babies and families out there that need our help.

To learn more about Maddie: http://www.remembermaddie.com

Why you should March for Babies: http://www.marchforbabies.org

For more information on what you can do to help Heather and Mike directly: http://amomtwoboys.com/for-maddie/

After finally getting over a stomach virus that ravaged the whole family and sent the baby to the hospital with dehydration, we are now sick again. What’s the deal? I thought at first it was allergies, and there may be a bit of that in there as well, but it’s a cold. All three of the kids and me.

Of course tonight is the 5 year old’s very first t-ball game ever. He is feeling fine and well enough to go, but that leaves the rest of us. I really don’t want to miss my son’s first game. I just don’t. But… how can I take a baby who isn’t feeling well, or how could I leave her home with my husband- who I am sure doesn’t really want to miss this game either even though he said he would stay home? The 3 year old will be fine either way, as long as it doesn’t rain like they say it will, although I am sure he would be better off staying home too.

So, what do you do? How do you decide? What have been some tough, or trivial, parenting choices that you have had to make and what were the outcomes?

Photo via Flickr

My little man is 3 years old today, I can hardly believe it. We are just having a family day since the boys already had their shared birthday party with friends. The 5 year old had t-ball practice this morning, so we all went to the park to watch. Well, I watched. Little man ran around and climbed. This afternoon he has chosen to watch a movie about fire trucks that we picked up at the library. Later on we’ll have the pancakes he decided on for his birthday dinner and the cake we made together yesterday. And maybe a few presents too.